Doing the Real Work

And so I wanted to improve my presentation skills and I engaged a coach to work with me on this. After the session, my coach assigned me a homework- and that was to do 20 hours of drills, for a 3-min share.

That was equivalent to about practicing the same share for 750 times. What?!!

It sounded crazy and for the next few weeks, instead of diligently working towards my goal, I procrastinated. I put off practicing.

Even though I wanted to improve, every time I thought of the number of hours, I was put off and found something else to distract myself with instead. I was trying to focus on unimportant stuff and putting off the real work. I was avoiding pain and responsibility which is essential if I want to pursue my dreams and work toward my goal.

In the end, after 3 weeks, I only consciously drilled for one hour. I was hesitant and felt bad about myself. I was dreading class having not done my work.

During the class, as expected we were told to share. I was surprised that my coach did not ask me for the number of hours I put in, I guess she could tell from our shares whether we did our work. I shared, and I thankfully for that one hour of practice I was slightly better than the previous time. My coursemates were diligent in their practice and had improved a lot. I felt bad about myself.
That was when I had a realization. It was not about trying to do it to hit the hours. Whatever I did was for myself. I was accountable only to myself. If I did not do the work, no one will bear the repercussions except myself. I can lie to everyone but I cannot lie to myself. I owe it to myself to achieve the breakthrough, the results, the reason I engaged a coach in the first place. No one could do the work for me. They can only point me to the right direction.

Learning points

It was never about hitting the 750 hours. It was the process, the journey I go through to hit that, and the person I become along the way. If the work is intentional, I will be already reaping the rewards just by doing it. Personal growth. Likewise if I do not do the work, no one lose out except myself. I would have let myself down.

Application

Often times we work so hard in our lives to achieve our end goal, to be financially free, to be a successful figure, but that itself is just a goal to strive towards. What matters most is the journey to the destination.

The experiences you go through and people you meet along the way. Life would be meaningless if you were to get what you want right away without putting in the effort. The struggle is essential, the struggle helps us grow. Think of a caterpillar breaking out of its cocoon into a butterfly. Without the struggle, they will never emerge a butterfly. Or precious stones which are form under a high pressure, high heat environment.



We are all diamonds waiting to be polished. Many of us avoid the feeling of discomfort, not realizing it is exactly that which will bring the shine out in us.

The struggle is real. What are you willing to struggle for? Find something that makes the fight worthwhile.

So start creating the life you want and planning for experiences that lights up your heart...because there is no failure, just the journey, and every part of it makes your life uniquely yours.

Starting on Your Life’s Work

“I want to do more in life, where should I start?”
Getting started is never easy. You may have many ideas or you may have none. If you are lucky, you may already know what you want to focus on e.g. starting your own cafe, working on technology. But if you are like most of us, clue-less, here’s some tips I’ll like to share.

Number one #1

Find your Value Proposition.

You need to know what you stand for. What you want people to know you as. Never define yourself by your job title, or plot your career path based on the next job with a higher pay. After a while it gets meaningless. Instead, ask yourself what you would like people to know you as.

It could be, the go-to person for good advice on strategic marketing solutions for B2B products. Create a personal brand for yourself.

For myself, my personal brand would be- to be the thought leader for the field of health and wellness. To be the catalyst for people who would like to come fully alive. To be that spark to reignite that fire in them - Body. Mind. Gut.

Number #2

Know your Strengths

For the longest time, I made the mistake of focusing on my weaknesses instead of my strengths. I did not want my weaknesses to become a stumbling block for me, so I spent a lot of my time ‘preparing’ myself. Working on my weaknesses instead of really starting on my life’s work.

The truth was I was scared to start because starting actually meant the possibility of failure. If I did not start, I always had the potential of succeeding instead of being proven a failure.

Take some time to notice your strengths. Gather feedback from your close ones- they may be able to offer new insights to your strengths. For example, I always thought I was slightly above average in the looks department and am shy and not good at public speaking. I love writing and creating and thought that that’s nothing special and creating content comes easily to anyone. Apparently that was not the case.

Over time, I got to learn that people find me pretty attractive! Their perception of me is also that I am well spoken and confident. It was so different from the perception I had of myself. As what they say, fake it till you make it. I have come to learn that it doesn’t really matter what you really feel inside (e.g. that you are not good enough) but what people perceive you to be. Knowing your strength would allow you to turn that strength into your advantage.

Just like for me, knowing my strength allowed me to strategically position me to become an influencer in the health and wellness field.

Number #3

Create a Success Loop

Systems systems systems!! It’s all about creating a system that works for you. Because as you probably know by now, success is not created overnight. It is the accumulation of your daily habits. The Compound Effect is very real, and it really adds up over time. Don’t neglect what a simple and seemingly innocent decision can do to you in the long run
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I used to think that I need to be ready before I begin. I was constantly accumulating resources, never actually taking action. Some of you may be like me, just stuck at preparing yourself for that battle, be it starting your own business, taking up a new hobby, basically doing anything out of your comfort zone.

You know what I have realized? If you are like me, we have got it all wrong! It does not work like that. The secret is that there are actually many many many cycles of the loop. And it’s usually an upward spiral.

What this means is that with whatever resources you have...however limited, you should just take action, and when the action generates results, the results actually provide you with more resources! And building on the resources you just do more and more results will come. This way you form a success loop.

What does this mean- Instead of saying no time to pursue what you are supposed to do, even if you have just 15 min, just write, more often than not, you will gain more energy and inspiration once you start writing leading to you wanting to write more. (This is what I am sharing from personal experience. I just started writing and before I know it, it has been an hour since I started)

Always remember that it is very important to create a success loop, it will help you to sustain your actions and grow results over time despite perceived limitations.

Number #4

Plant Seeds

This is another important principle which was made very clear and real in this book- the Diamond Cutter. It is a good read if you have not read it yet. Basically the book talks about the power of planting the right of kind of seeds, without expecting anything in return. Like if you want more money, if donating to charity without expecting anything in return.

If you want to find clarity in what you do, focus your energy on what helping others find clarity. It’s interesting how the laws of the universe works.

Number #5

Keep doing the work. Have faith!

It takes time. Success takes time. The most important part is really to enjoy the journey. I have come to realize that at the end of the day, pessimistic as it may seem, we will all die. What we have, what we do, may one day no longer matter. We are all just dust in the wind. However, what will be reaped is the experience in the moment, cliche as it may sound, it’s not the destination that really matters, but who you become as a result of taking that journey.

So keep doing the work, don’t be afraid to make tweaks along the way, you do not need to have all the answers from the start, and have fun!

“Loosen up a bit- laugh more, get involved with people around you, do simple things. If you only do important things, you will be dead serious.” - Sadhguru

All the best! Let me know if you have other tips to share in the comments box below.