My Realizations after 23 Years on Earth

One month ago, I enrolled myself into a coaching program.

I have always been a fan of inspirational, motivational, self-discovery books and articles. I always thought my life was good, I was happy, and I was capable of forwarding myself. 

Whenever I am down, I would seek refuge in the wise words of Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie…

However, my life had reached a standstill.

I just graduated with a double-degree and good honors, but I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I had the world in front of me but I did not know where to go.

I decided to take my time and explore my options. I found myself interning with Executive Coach International. I was drawn to the company due to my inclination to help others and make a difference to their lives. What ECI does is helping people forward their lives. Perfect job for me!

It was also at ECI I chanced upon The Courage to Create Program (TCC). It is a coaching program said to bring out the best in you what helping you gain insights into what is stopping you in life. Kunqi (my supervisor) told me about the program and strongly recommended it to me.

At first, I was skeptical. I was skeptical of the results. The price was also a huge turn-off. On the other hand, I met graduates from TCC and they all seem so happy, carefree, and they all seem to possess a certain knowing.

Soon, my curiosity got the better of me. I decided to enroll myself into the program. It was the first major investment I made on myself. I had decided to take control of my life.

I went into the program wanting to solve my indecisiveness, find out what I really wanted, and find out what the TCC graduates knew.

A LITTLE ABOUT TCC

For TCC, there will be 2 weeks of personal coaching before the 3 days program. The personal coaching will prepare you well for the intensive program. There will also be homework to be done. Expect to work really really hard as the results you reap will be dependent on how hard you work.

The technology used is Process Work. This form of coaching helps you dig into your subconscious mind and what’s really cool about it is that it helps you recall things you didn't even know existed in your mind.

Process Work is an innovative approach to individual and collective change that brings psychology, group dynamics, spirituality, and creative expression together in a single paradigm. An offshoot of Jungian psychology, Process Work was developed by Jungian analyst Arnold Mindell in the 1970s when Mindell began to research illness as a meaningful expression of the unconscious mind. He discovered that the unconscious manifests not only in nighttime dreams but also in physical symptoms, relationship difficulties, addictions, and social tensions. Drawing from his background as a physicist, as well as from Taoist principles, shamanism, Zen Buddhism and communication science, Mindell formulated the idea of the 'dreaming process,' a coherent and meaningful flow of experiences that underlies all life events.

Over the last thirty years of application and research by Arny and Amy Mindell and associates, Process Work is now described as an "awareness practice," because its emphasis is on awareness, both the practitioner's and the client's, rather than on any particular intervention.

Source: http://www.processwork.org/about/what_is_process_work

During the program, I found myself saying, doing and recalling things I didn’t even remember. It’s quite good for someone who thinks she has bad memory!

After TCC, there will be a 5 weeks Making Courage Work follow-up to consolidate your realization and help you manifest them into reality.

MY THOUGHTS ON THE PROGRAM

The program leaders, Soon and Julia, were AWESOME! They were really inspiring and they touched me with the love they had for us. I could feel they are giving their all to improve our lives! 

My program mates were also AWESOME! Each of us had our own personalities, and we supported each other through it all. It is heartwarming to see how close friendships are formed through this experience.

The journey was not an easy one for me. I had to face my fears. I had to fight the demons within me. I was a shy, unconfident girl. I needed to break out of my shell.

Through this program, I witnessed the transformation within each of us. On the last day, every one of us was bouncing with energy despite having not much sleep for the past 3 days.

I shall not say too much about the program because you got to experience it for yourself!

MY REALIZATIONS

To me, a perfect life is one that is filled with confidence, energy, passion, anticipation and living with no regrets. It is about breaking away from things that have held you back in the past.

During the course, I realized that there is no point working so hard towards HAPPINESS. Happiness has always been within grasp. Happiness, warmth, and love happen in the moment. So live in the present, be aware, and EXPERIENCE IT!

I also realized that for half my life, I have been wearing the HAPPY mask. Yes, there is a mask for that and I didn’t know it! I used my happy image to mask my insecurities and weaknesses in life, so much so that I start to believe I am really happy. But I know it is not true happiness because often times, I find myself reminding myself to be happy.

I also realized I have been avoiding things that I feel are threatening because I believe I am not strong to handle it. I adopted the ‘don’t know’ and ‘don’t care’ attitude to things that matter to me because I was afraid of getting hurt. No wonder I became so blur!

I also discovered why I was always second best in everything I did. Hopefully with this awareness, I will no longer be second best but the best!

I also learnt why I do not like to rely on others, don’t trust my heart, and instead, only trust books. My belief was, people will leave you, books will not. They will always be there when you need them. What a realization indeed! No wonder I am such a bookworm.

I have also cleared several of my childhood traumas with my parents and this has brought our relationship closer than before.

I also managed to gain back my confidence, get rid of my fear of authority, and learnt to love and accept myself for who I am.

Most important lesson,

Everything is possible. If only you believe. You are your own limit. Do not make the limit of others your limit. Do not go around trying to please others.

LOVE YOURSELF. Support yourself. TRUST YOUR HEART and BE THERE FOR YOURSELF. Only when you love yourself can you love someone else.

I have always been trying to help others, help improve their lives, but what I realized is that, all the while, I have been neglecting myself.

Apart from all these, something inside me also shifted. I feel at peace with myself. I feel lighter and happier and BURSTING WITH ENERGY! I have found a part of me which I lost.

If you want to take charge of your life, you can give this program a try! I can assure you it will be NOTHING YOU EVER EXPECTED! And by the way, this is not an advertisement! I am just reviewing it from an independent perspective. 

After the program, I have found new found enthusiasm for life and even created a Bucket List for myself! Want to do it together with me? (:

Thank you Kelvin, Soon, Julia, my coaches Kunqi and Alex, Meiyee, TCC chippers and all the assistants of TCC for all your love and support! <3