A Beautiful Reminder

Lessons I have learnt from an 87 year-old Multi-Millionaire

Source: Collective Evolution

    

“You don’t need to dress fashionably. Live simply and work hard. Follow these principles and the time will come when people will recognise you for the value you have added into their lives.”

I have always enjoyed conversations with older folks as with their years of experience, they usually have lots to share. On one such occasion, I was fortunate to find myself sitting face-to-face with this beaming, petite, yet energetic 87-year old lady. Let's call her Mrs Tan. Little did I know she was actually the Founder of the Singapore Netball and Hockey Association. She is really one of Singapore's Pioneer Generation, helping to shape the Singapore we know today.

Mrs Tan started off with nothing. She came to Singapore from Malaysia on her own as a teenager with only enough money for a one way ticket to Singapore. Today, she is a multi-millionaire, happily married for 58 years, proud mother of 3 and the grandmother of 3 lovely grandchildren.

Though age has caught up with her, her mind is still clear and spirit still strong. She spoke English eloquently. Speaking to her was a humbling experience, and my conversation with her sparked off many insights into the principles she lived by which I thought the younger generation could benefit from.

Read on to catch a glimpse into the mindset of the 87-year multi-millionaire…

What can't you let go of?

Yes, you read it right. I said "can't." What you can't let go of is often the thing that has the most power over you. And yes, it's also the thing you have to let go of the most. Let's delve in with this beautifully written poem to shed light on letting go.

"To Let Go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To Let Go is not to cut myself off,
it is the realization I can’t control another.


To Let Go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To Let Go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To Let Go is not to try to change or blame another,
it is to make the most of myself.

To Let Go is not to care for,
but to care about. 

To Let Go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To Let Go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To Let Go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.

To Let Go is not to be protective,
it is to permit another to face reality.

To Let Go is not to deny,
but to accept. 

To Let Go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To Let Go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To Let Go is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To Let Go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To Let Go is to fear less,and love more." 

- Author Unknown

 It took me many hard knocks, painful lessons, wasted time, to finally learnt the art of letting go. Over time,I've learnt that stubbornly holding on to something that you know is not working out, resisting the flow, will cause more harm to yourself than good. And the bad news is, eventually, you still have to let go.

When I finally decided to let go of what was not serving me, I gained my energy and power back in my life. Looking back, I wished I had let go much earlier.  However, it's never too late. Here's how you can start.

Shed light on what you can't let go of and make a conscious effort to dissociate yourself from that. Sometimes it just take an act of courage. Here's some examples...

• A toxic relationship that brings you more sadness than happiness

• A limiting belief about yourself

• The false self

• A fixed mindset (try having a growth mindset instead)

• A preconceived judgment

• Negative people in your life

• A job which no longer inspires you

• Negativity, Laziness, Procrastination

• Any more? Do share your ideas in the comments box below! 

Ready to let go of something that is no longer serving you? Here's some inspiration for your much needed boost.

 Featuring Elsa from Disney's Frozen- This popular hit highlights Elsa's shedding of her old identity, accepting herself for who she is and embracing her unique gifts.

As what the proverb said: Short term pain, long term gain. Letting go is not easy. It takes courage. It takes a leap of faith. However, do yourself a favor and let go of what is weighing you down. Identify something you can let go off today...and let yourself soar!

Namaste.

Being in a State of Mindfulness

We can be physically present in the most glorious sunset, but when the mind is wandering, we don't receive the beauty. When our cup is full of fear, preoccupation or concepts, there is little room for grace. [...]

Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist teacher and poet, presents a practical approach to emptying our cups of concepts and being open to grace using the Buddhist practice of mindfulness, or present-centered awareness.

He instructs us in opening the heart:

"I would like to offer one short poem you can recite from time to time, while breathing and smiling."

Breathing in, I calm body and mind
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment
I know this is the only moment.

"Breathing in, I calm body and mind." This line is like drinking a glass of ice water- you feel the cold, the freshness, permeate your body. When I breathe in and recite this line, I actually feel the breathing calming my body and my mind.

"Breathing out, I smile." You know the effect of a smile. A smile can relax hundreds of muscles in your face, and relax your nervous system.

"Dwelling in the present moment." When I sit here, I don't think of somewhere else, of the future or of the past. I sit here, and know where I am. This is important...we tend to postpone being alive to the future, the distant future, we don't know when...Therefore the technique, is to be in the present moment, to be aware of the here and now...

"I know this is the only moment." This is the only moment that is real. To be here and now, and enjoy the present moment is our most important task.

Stop for a few minutes and try the techniques expressed in Thich Nhat Hanh's beautiful poem of mindfulness. Be present with each breath, each verse. This is a powerful technique, deceptive in its utter simplicity, and a great help to being present in the gift of grace. Like witnessing, it is a technique of centering. Cutting the cords that bind you to past and future, these two conscious, intentional breaths can restore you to the Self, to Now. Over time, this poem is like a portable Buddhist master. It teaches you to be mindful, nonjudgmentally present and aware of life. Alive again.

Namaste.

[Adapted from Guilt is the Teacher, Love is the Lesson, Joan Borysenko, Phd]

When was the last time you stopped to question yourself?

Take a minute to ask yourself this today.

Why are you doing what you are doing?

Have a specific scenario in your mind. Some examples could be...why are you in the job you are in? Or why are you in the relationship you are in? Or why are you in your course of studies? Answer truthfully.

a) I am doing it because I have no other choice
b) I am doing it because I feel that I should
c) I am doing it because someone else told me to
d) I am doing it because I want to

Even though 2 individuals may be embarking on the same tasks, more often than not, they are coming from very different motivations.

If you answered a, b or c, it's time to take a step back and re-examine the situation. What you are doing is energy draining, it is not sustainable and will cause you to move further and further away from your true self. Start to look deep within yourself and ask yourself, what is it you really want? Of course, we do not expect change to happen overnight, but start by planting a seed. Re-calibrate your compass towards your true north.

If you answered d, congrats! What you are doing gives you energy. Keep doing what you are doing. You are being true to yourself, and by being your best self, you are able to share your unique gifts with the world.

With Love,

Yu Ting