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| Source: Collective Evolution |
“You don’t need to dress fashionably. Live simply and work hard. Follow these principles and the time will come when people will recognise you for the value you have added into their lives.”
I have always enjoyed conversations with older folks as with their years of experience, they usually have lots to share. On one such occasion, I was fortunate to find myself sitting face-to-face with this beaming, petite, yet energetic 87-year old lady. Let's call her Mrs Tan. Little did I know she was actually the Founder of the Singapore Netball and Hockey Association. She is really one of Singapore's Pioneer Generation, helping to shape the Singapore we know today.
Mrs Tan started off with nothing. She came to Singapore from Malaysia on her own as a teenager with only enough money for a one way ticket to Singapore. Today, she is a multi-millionaire, happily married for 58 years, proud mother of 3 and the grandmother of 3 lovely grandchildren.
Though age has caught up with her, her mind is still clear and spirit still strong. She spoke English eloquently. Speaking to her was a humbling experience, and my conversation with her sparked off many insights into the principles she lived by which I thought the younger generation could benefit from.
Read on to catch a glimpse into the mindset of the 87-year multi-millionaire…
1. Life is not easy, accept it
“In life, nothing comes easy.” These words shared by Mrs Tan etched deeply in my mind as I recalled the conversation I had with her earlier.
Mrs Tan didn’t have an easy life. Her father was kidnapped by the communists when she was in her teens and that was the last she saw of her father. Her brother did not believe that females needed to be educated and did not want to support her education. Undeterred, Mrs Tan set out on her own from Malaysia to Singapore to look for a job as a teacher. With only a luggage and a one-way ticket, she relied on the help of kind souls along the way.
2. Be strong
“If I don’t do it for myself, no one will.”
This was the mentality Mrs Tan had that made her fiercely independent. Something that struck me deeply was Mrs Tan’s strength in character. Despite being 87-years of age, Mrs Tan talks with passion and a glimmer in her eyes. Life was not easy. She knew, and she accepted it. Having no one to support her but herself, Mrs Tan grew fiercely independent and over the years, she built a name for herself through her own hard work and perseverance.
3. Never be afraid of hard work
“I was not afraid of work. I just wanted to do my part in developing the nation.” Everything Mrs Tan did was never for herself, but for other people. When she started the National Netball and Hockey Association, she went against all odds and invested huge efforts in it, even though there were no monetary returns. It was her passion, something she believed strongly in, and she fought hard to bring Netball and Hockey into Singapore. “To me, sports is unity,” and she wanted to improve the lives of others who did not have the opportunity.
4. Never be ashamed of yourself
When Mrs Tan was a teacher, she was poor, and could not afford transportation to work. While other teachers drove posh cars to work, she went to work in the only mode of transport she could afford- a bicycle. Despite being mocked at by students, she was never ashamed of herself. She never had self-pity. She said,” as long as you work hard, and what you do is right, there is nothing to be ashamed about.”
5. Be kind to each other
Kindness from strangers has helped her along the way. Mrs Tan choked back tears when she recalled the kindness shown to her by her professor while she was on a scholarship in England. Being the only Chinese in University, and poor, she could not afford to go on holidays. Instead, the professor in the university offered to leave her a room on campus so she could stay and spend her holidays. Mrs Tan fondly recalls her time in England and even shared that she still meets up every four years for a reunion with her classmates in University.
What she said reminded me of a quote, “people don’t remember what you do, but they often remember how you made them feel.” In life it’s not so much about having flashy gadgets to show off, you might impress others for that moments, but what people remember you for will often be how the small acts of kindness you did impacted their lives.
6. On Happy Marriage
Seeing how loving Mrs Tan is with her husband after being married for 58 years, I could not resist asking Mrs Tan for the secret to a long-lasting happy marriage.
Mrs Tan said with a laugh, “it’s all about give and take.” She confided that her husband never helped with housework, and he also had many pet peeves which she did not like. However, what held them together for so long was the love and care they have for each other. She is very independent and her husband is very supportive of whatever she does. “Each has their own interest, accept it, and do not bear grudges. At the end of the day, it’s all about give and take.”
7. Advice to young people
Mrs Tan is widely successful in her own rights. I thought it would be great if she could offer us some tips on living a good life.
With a smile, she said, “Believe in your cause. Fight for your Cause. In life, you must never be afraid of hard work. Be frank and honest in whatever you do.”
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